The idea is simple: grow your beard throughout February, then shave back to a glorious mustache for a gala beer party at the end of the month.

It is imperative that you do this right. This is very serious. VERY SERIOUS! (It’s not.)

Gentlemen

1. Prepare

In the days and weeks before February, do whatever you have to do to get your mind and body set.

2. Shave

January 31, you shave. Enjoy every moment of it. You won’t be doing this again for a long time.

3. Don’t shave

February 1st begins your shaving exile. Enjoy the varying phases of facial hair growth. Marvel your coworkers. Take pride in the cheeky bald spots.

4. Shave

February 28th, you get to shave again. But here’s where it gets good: leave only the mustache. No goatee, no soul patch. Just the ‘stash. Sideburns that don’t detract from the glory of the mustache are allowed, though frowned upon.

5. Party

February 28th, close out the most awesome month of your life with good friends, good fuzzy lips, and good beer. You’ve earned it, cowboy.

6. Endure

See how long you can keep your new look going. Bask in the glow of distrusting strangers and jealous coworkers.

Ladies

1. Prepare

Look at your man. Note how lame he is with his bare face. Tell him how sexy he’s going to be once he finally grows a mustache.

2. Shave

January 31 begins the long haul. And remember, all is done in humble respect of the mustache. To support the cause, you must provide a contrast to your mountain man. So shave, ladies. Shave. The more you shave, the better. Eyebrows? Sure. Head? Hmm, probably too much. But I think you know where we’re going with this…

3. Adore

Remember to take every opportunity throughout the whole month of February to pay homage to the beautiful beard your manly-man is growing.

4. Party

After this enlightening experience, you will probably find that you enjoyed being so very hairless and doting. For many women, this is a life-altering experience. We understand. We support you. And we’re desperate for your adoration.